They're back

 Today an old man who wanted two books by Lee Goldberg and had no concept of personal space told me two jokes, one about a woman thinking her husband was buying her a diamond pin for her anniversary but he was really buying her frozen yogurt from the shop next door, and one about a macaw who insulted a woman every time she passed it in the window of a pet shop. He guffawed loudly after both, completely oblivious to the serene quiet of the library around him.

The macaw joke highlight (it was this joke: https://www.reddit.com/r/Jokes/comments/28iwct/a_woman_walks_down_the_street/?rdt=37421):

Patron: Do you know what a macaw is?

Me: Yes, it's like a big parrot, right?

Patron: Yes, but with a REALLY long nose.

Dog #3 (I think)

Today I caught a pug that wandered into the library and released him back into the neighborhood. I THINK this is dog #3 that I have captured and removed from a library, but I'm not even 100% sure, which I feel says a lot.

How I can tell my team isn't as overworked as I was afraid they were

Overheard in the staff office: "...that's what you get when you do a Google image search for 'fearsome wallaby.'"

Pig's name

 Patrons have to call or email us to make an appointment to pick their requests up via curbside service. Here's a recent conversation I had with one family, when the adult called to make a pickup appointment.

Me: Looks like we have 3 books ready for you.

Patron: Can you tell me: Are those all chapter books, or are some of them for little kids?

Me: I'm sorry, they're all chapter books; it looks like the early readers are still on their way. But if you have a younger kid at home, if you can tell me a little bit about them and what they like, we could pull some suggestions for you.

Patron: Oh, that would be great! He's four and he's reading level 1 or 2 readers. He likes Paw Patrol, Peppa Pig, Blaze and the Monster Machines...

Little boy (in background): Boy books!

Patron: (to kid) Girl books are good, too. (to me) No 'girl books,'  but for some reason, Peppa is fine...

Little boy: Peppa isn't a girl's name!

Patron: It's not?

Little boy: No, Peppa is a pig's name!

Storytime (again)

We have a new children's librarian so I'm not longer doing storytime every week (hooray!) but I'm still her backup so I've been acting as her assistant the last few weeks so I can learn the routine if I need to fill in. Her storytimes are super-fun and I think she's doing a great job, but here are some of the concerns she brings to me:

"I introduced a frog puppet this week and I thought the kids weren't really into him, but when I put him away, a little girl started bawling and going 'but I wanted to touch him!!!' What should I have done?!"

"We were doing 'Herman the Worm.' In the original song he eats fruits but I thought the toddlers wouldn't know what lots of the fruits were so I did animals instead, and I guess I didn't think it through because I did a dog and a cat and a parent got mad at me for singing about pets being eaten."

"We were doing a song with animals and colors and we got to blue and I couldn't think of any blue animals, so I said 'blue cow' and then this week I asked the kids what color a cow is and one of them shouted 'blue!' I think I am a bad influence."