Quick reference shift

 A man asks: Does your sister work here? 

Me: No, I think I just have one of those faces. People are always asking me if I go to their same church and stuff.

Man: Seriously!? Me too, actually! Three times already this morning I've had people ask if they know me from somewhere. I'm 51, so I don't think I went to school with you, sir...

I told him I was excited to meet another person like me.

Later as I was passing the area where he was sitting, he held out his fist for a fist bump.

A kid asks me for help figuring out 15x12 (I show him a trick my dad taught me, that 15x12 is the same as 10x12 and 5x12 added together).

Same kid, later:

Hi...[grabs a piece of scrap paper]...bye!

I have to tell about 50 disappointed families that tonight's storytime is cancelled (our usual presenter and our backup are BOTH out sick, and I could do it, but only if we wanted to just leave the reference desk unstaffed all night). They are all so nice about it and I can't tell if that's better or worse than people being crabby.

A break up a study-room-related incident that has escalated to one patron threatening to sue the other for assault (don't worry, no one was actually hurt).

Patron of the Day

Today's award goes to the man a little older than I am who wanted information about how to teach someone autistic to count money. "He's my neighbor. I hear his dad yelling at him all the time. He just doesn't get it. You've got to have patience. I already taught him how to tell time, so that's good, but when I took him to the grocery store yesterday he gave the cashier $40.32 instead of $14.32. I was thinking I could buy some of that fake Monopoly money and we could practice with that."


So nice!

I just got out of jail...

...is something patrons say to me a lot, as in:


"Not to get all personal, but I just got out of jail and they had the test waiting for me. But I failed the first time, so now I'm studying to take it again in September. So that's why I need the basic math books."

A good ref shift

When I came to take over the desk this afternoon, I asked a coworker how it had been out here. He said, "Quiet. Well, either it's been quiet or they are saving up all of their questions for you." Turns out it was the latter.


Excuse me, is there any way this printer can print in color?


Can you help me fix up this thing I made in Publisher and then put into Microsoft Word for no discernible reason?


Books on suicide? My mother killed herself and I just haven't gotten over it at all.


Tax forms?


Can I have a pass to get on the computer?


Address and phone number of local probate court?


Olympic medals (previously mentioned).

Tsunami (previously mentioned).

I borrowed this book on CD but really I want to listen to it on my phone. They referred me to you. Something about downloading it? (I introduced him to Overdrive; he was very happy.)

Coworker: You're not supposed to have your laptop cord blocking the aisle right? I'll call security.

Tax forms?

Do you have the black national anthem? You know, Lift Every Voice and Sing? What key is it in?
When I ask what key he is looking for (the one I found isn't the right one) a patron standing by the desk helpfully volunteers his own preference, so loud that I don't hear the answer of the guy on the phone.

I have a library card from [different city]. Can I use that there?

Coworker: I am trying to 'laminate' this [reproducible tax forms binder label] with book tape. God I hate tax season.

Coworker to new security guard, who doesn't have a proper name badge, just a huge clip on name tag: Seriously!?
SG: I know. They got me a second uniform already, which I will probably never need, but no name tag.

Can you show me where to find a book about beginning algebra?

Where is the bathroom?



Can you tell me the number for Direct TV? Oh, also, while you are on there, they have a credit union over in Ann Arbor...is it the same as the one here? What is its phone number? Thank you so much! Have a blessed weekend!


"Jujitsu" security guard: The men's bathroom is gonna be closed for awhile. It's like a kiddie pool in there.


Do you have any books about sociology?
Really she is looking for a particular book, but she doesn't know anything about it at all, so, surprise, surprise, I can't figure out what it is and she gets mad.


A man stops by to say: "That was amazing! Did you know you can find any song in the world on Youtube?!"


On of my least favorite patrons, who is always doing school assignments but never brings the actual assignment with him and has so so SO much trouble articulating what he wants: "I need a book that will tell me how to make a personal profile. You know, it tells who you are, your career, what is good, you tell it to your company." He goes on and on and on, eventually gives up and takes a resume book that includes info about how to write an objectives statement, no one is happy.


Hi, I'm trying to call Comcast? Infinity?


Can you tell me [the time of] the sunset and sunrise today?


I need the book for the GED...oh, I didn't realize you would have more than one.

Best requests

Today I only located about six books. Two of them were Flatland and The Wealth of Nations. Do the patrons think it's my birthday or something?

Bonus: Flatland is 530.11 ABB, not FIC ABB.