A refgrunt in which many people are anxious

We need to print some tickets and we sent them from out computer but then it says there are no jobs! I want to help but my bored coworker leaps up from her desk before I can respond. It’s been a slow morning, I guess.

Where do I get some change? (Stares uncomfortably at me for five seconds after I give him the answer, but does go off in the right direction)

I can’t connect to the wireless!

Different person: I talked to the gal who was here this morning about this, I don’t think it’s me because I have three different devices…

Me: Are you having trouble with the wireless? We can submit a request to IT but we don’t know what’s wrong, sorry.

Coworker, as soon as he leaves: He called from within the library to complain this morning!

I’m doing voter registration at the Civic Center. Can I have some of your voter registration forms? Long political ramble about how evil President Obama is.  Democrat coworker listens courteously without ever actually expressing agreement.

Bruno Mars CD “Doo-Wops and Hooligans.” Not on shelf where it’s supposed to be, and can neither find it nor convince the patron to put in a request.

A million questions about the “Library Legos” program, which is saturating the children’s area with sound. Where is it, are we too late, what is that noise…

Where exactly are your biographies for kids?

“Which way is to the Lego room!? My brother is in there!”

Where are the action movies? And also Stuart Little for my little sister.

Do you have any Scooby Doo?

Spy Kids.

Old Lady: “Do you get excited about every Lego program?”

Me: “Actually this is the first one we’ve had this summer. But it does seem to be going over well.”

Lady: “So no one’s been ejected yet?”

Me, laughing a little: “Not yet!”

Lady: “Good luck!”

Dora the Explorer books in Spanish, for a little girl who speaks only Spanish. All of them are at other, lily-white branches. Grr!

Oh no, I left books on this table to check out and now they are gone! I thought they were abandoned so I put them on the returns cart…no worries.

Walk PLEASE! Oh my goodness you are going to hurt yourselves.

Curious kid: What’s wrong with this computer? Don’t worry, kids, I fixed it.

Can I have some of this scratch paper?

Do you have a public phone?

Man in a “Warning: You can go Blind from my Extreme Awesomeness” shirt: Do you have a pencil or something I can borrow?

Me: Sure, just bring it back when you’re done.

Man: Indubitably!

Phone call from a man trying to use one of our online databases. He doesn’t understand that he has to register the first time he uses it. Then he gets it, but the database says the email address he gave them is already in use. I explain that he can sign up for a new account without giving them an email address at all. He asks for my name at the end of the call—never a good sign.

The guy calls back about 30 seconds later—it says my username is already in use too! What do I do? Um, you can pick a different username, sir. I’d suggest something other than “Bill.”

Where would your phonebooks be?

Information about our ESL conversation program.

Can you print things in color here? (No, so sorry!)

The printer is asking for the ‘staff password.’ Also we put our money in the copy machine instead of the printer. Sorry.

Accidentally scan the UPC on my water bottle with the barcode scanner.

Coworker: “Here’s your new Consumer Reports!”

Supervisor’s son: “Is [supervisor] here? I’m her son.”

Do you have any bookmarks?

Where can I find these books? Presents two-page school reading list.

Star Wars. “I got this book for my birthday a while ago. It was like one book that had the whole story, and I kind of wanted that book again.” He can describe the cover in detail but I can’t find ANYTHING that looks like it on Google image searches.

One of our computers has been destroyed by a massive pop (coke, they call it down here) spill. It has obviously been there for a while and even seeped inside the casing of the CPU. Aargh! My coworker and I perform triage and save the mouse and keyboard, but IT will have to come take a look at the computer itself.

Go to try to tell my boss about the damaged computer. She’s not at the desk, but a waiting patron is—show her how to print (she can’t find the command in the menus in Word or Adobe) and how to release her jobs from the library printer. Takes forever.

The rest of the hour is so busy that I don’t have time to write anything down, and then we close!