Today at Mystery Library

Kid: Do you have any chapter books about unicorns?

Confused old man: You called and you said my movies had come in. Where are they?

Phone call: I heard an author is going to come out and talk about her book. Do you have the book?

A regular: Do you ladies have today's newspaper?

Volunteer running a kid's program in the program room: Can we borrow the blocks from the children's area? The kids are demanding them.

A million different patrons: Can you look up my library card number so I can get on the computer?

Patron using a garbage bag as an emergency poncho: Somebody told me, and I understand this might not be true, that I can get copies of something from my email here at the library. Can I do that, and if so how do I go about it?

Excited patron from nearby senior living place: Are you the one who came to my house!?

Chatty guy who always wants to tell me about his religious experiences: So, the boss is on vacation. Are you the boss now?

Grandma: When is your storytime? By the way, I am also a children's book author. I'll leave this copy of my book for you to look at while we are in the library.

Same grandma, to kid after kid has thrown a block and narrowly missed her head: If you were to say sorry to me, I might just be able to find it in my heart to forgive you.

Random kids: When are there going to be Legos at the library again?

Family of patrons who are a constant irritant to the staff: We definitely returned the Curious George movie you're saying we have checked out.

Youngest kid from that family is trying to climb right up on top of the reference desk. I stop him but I know as soon as I turn away he's just going to start again.

Confused teenager: Can I register to vote here?

Fun regular: Can you please request the movies Thor, Captain America, and Iron Man for me? My wife and I watched the Avengers and she never watches movies, and she wants to know who all the people in it are.