Sir, I'm going to need you to keep your shoes on in the library.
Me: I'm sorry sir, but if you are going to eat, I'm going to have to ask you to go down to our lobby area.
Patron, flinging his bagel into the trash can forcefully: Fine! Then I'll just throw it away!
Me [in my head]: No one asked you to do that, sir.
For the rest of my shift, every time I pass near this patron he tries to set me on fire with his eyes.
SIR, you need to keep your shoes on in the library.
A patron gives me a five-minute rant about our public computers but
repeatedly declines to fill out a comment card to make the complaint
official, even though they are anonymous.
I gesture at a patron on a Zoom call in a study room to please lower his
voice. He rolls his eyes and then says to the people on the call, in a
voice 1% quieter than before, "I've just been told to keep my voice
down."
This branch has two kinds of chairs, wooden ones and ill-advised cloth
armchairs that you'd have to pay me $100 to sit on. Someone has taken
several plastic bags and arranged them carefully over one so that she
can sit in it without making any direct contact
with the fabric. I get the idea, but why not just sit in a wooden
chair, ma'am?
Someone has taken apart all the different sections of BOTH our copies of
the local newspaper and interfiled them seemingly randomly before
piling them up on a table.
Me to patron watching a loud YouTube video on his phone: Hi sir, do you have a pair of headphones?
Patron: Yeah.
Me: ...
Patron: ...
Me: I'm going to have to ask you to either put them on or lower your volume.
Patron: What about that guy who's snoring?
Me: He is MUCH quieter than you, sir. If he causes a disruption, I'll shush him too.
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