From a Saturday:
Can you help me find a book on art that ‘pops out’? Like chalk art, as an example. I’m supposed to sketch it for my homework…This is the exact thing I was looking for, thank you!
Coworker wants to go on break but will wait until the librarian comes back.
Can I use your stapler?
Can we use that to make copies? You don’t need a credit card or anything?
Do you have a pair of scissors I can borrow?
A Chinese lady has lots of questions about registering to vote.
It says you have a copy of the Laurel and Hardy collection here but I can’t find it. (We found it!)
Taught a nice lady how to copy and paste song lyrics from a website into Microsoft Word. She said “You are a wonderful teacher!”
Do you have the book “Color: a natural history of the palette?” Another branch does. Do you want me to put it on hold? No, I can go over there and get it. Okay, I’ll call to make sure they have it and they can hold it at the information desk for you.
Then that branch’s phone goes straight to voice mail.
A lady wants to find information on A.J. Smitherman, Tulsa newspaper owner and activist, and the Tulsa Riots. (Smitherman is her uncle!) I find her some books on the riots and then pass her on to a librarian for more detailed reference help.
Do you need help finding your holds?
Restart one of the catalog computers for a hard of hearing lady who is NOT happy that we only have three and the other two are in use.
Do you have Diary of a Wimpy Kid? Just a minute. (three-second pause) Never mind.
Can we watch Cartoon Network?
I’m having trouble finding this book in the catalog. That’s because it’s only searching our branch and that book is at another branch. I can put it on hold for you.
Can you turn up the TV? No.
You have this book but it says it’s checked out. No it doesn’t, it’s in paperback.
I’m looking for two DVDs but I don’t know if you have them. Save the Last Dance (lost) and Iron Man. The first Iron Man or the second one? It doesn’t matter.
Where can I find books on Excel?
Teach a woman to place holds using the public catalog.
Do you have this book? (Showing catalog) This means we have it at other locations, but not here.
Woman I taught about holds: How will I be notified when my holds come in?
Update the same woman’s telephone number and PIN.
She says “Thank you! You were very helpful!”
Can I help you? I want to get on a computer but there are kids sitting at all of those. Well, let’s see what’s available. There are lots of spots in the lab. No, can you ask one of those kids to get off? I want to sit over there but they are just playing at the computers. My supervisor goes over and asks one of the kids if he can sit somewhere else, then comes back and says to me “There are plenty of computers! Why are people like that?”
Small girl with a twenty dollar bill: Do you have change for this?
I want to take Superman off of hold.
Can you help me find some math books? A lengthy reference interview follows in which it is determined that the patron wants to do better in 7th grade math but doesn’t know what she needs to know. I get her a GED prep book and show her the basic math section. Not a 100% success.
Guy who taught the practice SAT class, without identifying himself: One of the librarians gave me these pencils.
I spot the Trouble Brothers, who have already been kicked out for the day, crawling not-so-stealthily along the floor near the printer. “Seriously!?” They flee before I can apprehend them.
Am I in the right place? For what? To sign up for a library card? You can do that over at the customer service desk, ma’am.
Is the Wii working?
These are the Mended Hearts Newsletters. Where do they go? Okaaaay…so you bring them and give them to us? Yes. (Helplessly) Could you ask at customer service?
Books on genealogy.
Where do I go to request back issues of Consumer Reports?
You should have a book on hold for me. It should be on the shelf. Same guy: Do you have “Prisoner Without a Name, Cell Without a Number”? No, sorry.
Fourth book in the Gatekeepers series. This one we do have!
Mexican ghost stories. This one we have, too!
Books on the clarinet.
Star Wars, Attack of the Clones.
It says there is a problem with my account, but I’ve never even used this to check out books before.
The USB ports on one of the public computers are broken!
Can I borrow a library card? Not unless your mom or dad is here to sign for it, sorry.
Is there something wrong with this computer? It won’t let me put in my number.
Kid wordlessly hands me a library card. Yes? I want to play the Wii. How old are you? Nine. The record says he was born in 1967. Is this your mom or dad’s card? My mom’s. Well, I’m not supposed to let you play with her card unless she’s here, sorry.
Walk please! (Times a hundred)
The police come to cite the Trouble Brothers for criminal trespassing.
Help an old lady who keeps dropping her books on CD.
Is there another copy of this that we can check out? You can check out that one!
On a website: Usually I can read this. Why is it so small? Is there anything I can do?
Please can you help me send this email?
Where are your restrooms?
Argue with tweens about what is acceptable ID/ransom to check out a Wii controller.
Kid: You seriously won’t let me play? You don’t trust me!?...you have a lot of liberrians around here!”
A woman spent 20 minutes waiting for a huge .wav file to download only to discover that her public PC doesn’t have functional audio.
How do I print this? ...It’s going to cost $4.80 to make two color copies of this. Oh! Then I don’t want it.
Can you look up how many owners are listed on this property?
Catalog confusion: When I punch in ‘Annie Sloane’ I don’t get anything but I know you have some of her books. They want the last name first, ma’am.
Change the pickup locations for a bunch of holds the Menopause Lady placed.