Patron: Do you have any lotion?
Me: No, we don't, sorry.
Patron: No, do you have any?
Me: No, I don't, sorry.
Patron: Really? You don't have any in your purse? Someday you'll get more ladylike...I guess you look like sort of an Indiana Jones type.
Me: I'm sorry I don't have any lotion. Can I help you with anything else?
Patron: A great big hug.
Me: Can I help you with anything library-related?
Five seconds later, different patron: Can I borrow a pen, babe?
Ick, ick ick!