A patron who I've seen around the guest computers before comes up to the desk.
Patron: 'Scuse me, I was wondering if I could use one of your scanners.
Me: Sure, do you have a library card?
Patron: No, I don't have one.
Me: That's fine, what about an ID?
Me: Driver's license? Servicepoint? Nothing?
Patron: No. I'm waiting for it to come in the mail, but my temporary one is expired.
Me: Well, do you have the expired paper?
Patron: Nah, sorry.
Me: Sorry about this, it's just that if we can't check it out to you we're supposed to hold on to something important so you remember to bring it back.
Patron: What, like collateral?
Me (laughing a little): Well, yes, exactly.
Patron, proffering an Android smartphone: You can have my phone, will that work?
We got permission to make an exception for him and I got him set up on a computer with the scanner. We did not end up holding his phone hostage. (Add one more item to Rules I have Broken)...