I told you I talk to the Greek gods, right?
I need to make a copy, but I've never used a copier before.
Can you show me how to make a copy?
Do you have, like, a guest...[stares at me for a few seconds without speaking]...you know, like the other library had computers that you can use without a card?
These are two loaves of raisin bread from the bakery down the street. They are a gift for the staff if you want them.
I need to print this email. How do I do that?
How do I make a copy?
Do you have tax forms yet?
Where are your exercise movies?
Call from a friend who was also sent to another branch! We have a patron over here who wants to come pick up Rob Roy by Scott. Can you make sure it's really there?
Where are the audiobooks?
My print job isn't showing up.
I need you to do your computer catalog thing. Do you have the movie Postcards From the Edge?
The copier says not to use the top feeder. Does that mean that I have to do all of these on the glass?
The unemployment office won't accept these text messages as documentation. They say I have to have proof on paper. Can you help me print them?
[One of our mobile device printing options is down. I put in a helpdesk ticket.]
I need Michigan tax forms.
Can you help me get to the hospital jobs website?
Phone call: They said you can help me find a math tutor for college mathematics. Can I come in on Saturday?
I need a friend...I need to copy this and put it into this document. Can you help me?
Can you help me with the printer?
How do I print just one page of this?
Do you have these two religious commentaries for my college class?
This computer locked me out.
How do I save something to my flash drive?
Is The Lost House back in yet?
Do you make copies here?
Do you fax here?
[Stand at the printer/fax/copier area for 15 minutes, just managing traffic.]
How do I make this full size?
Can I check my books out here?
I don't need help, I'm just waiting for the copier.
Smiled at by a lady who A) looks like a blonde version of the adorable Felicia Day and B) doesn't ask me for any information about copying or printing! If I weren't already married I would probably have asked her to marry me.
Any chance you could help me make a copy of this poster?
Do you have the TV show Degrassi? No, the old one.
[Show someone the self-check, which I love.]
One of the pages: This little girl is looking for her mom.
Little girl: There she is!
Mom: I'm so sorry!
Can you teach us how to check these movies out on the machines?