A patron has a resume saved to a flash drive and needs to upload it to an online job application, but first she asks, "If I want to, you know, twerk it first, how would I do that?"
While helping a patron sign up for a library card: "Are you the manager? I read about you on the reviews! They say you're nice!"
At closing, there's a guy who won't leave the men's bathroom. After a bit of back-and-forth:
Me: Sir, I'm sorry, but we really have to close. My watch says it's 6:05--if you are still in there at 6:07, I am going to call the police and have them escort you out.
[at 6:06, the door opens and he peers out, shirtless]
Patron: I've got to--
Coworker, looking away: Just go through here and out the door, we won't judge you!
Oh god, chasing patrons out of the bathrooms at closing is the worst!
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