Fairies 101

Today the college is competing with the public library because someone has interloaned "Fairies 101: Learning how to work and heal with fairies and other elementals," but of course a college can't really compete on equal footing with an urban public library.

Security staff reports the following activity: "Put away round tables (that Read to Succeed should’ve put away)in basement hallway due to attracting youths being too loud and horseplay"

I finally get my own computer but it has no software on it, not even Microsoft Office

Man with young daughter accosts couple with young daughter: "Have you ever thought about homeschooling?" Seems to be lurking just to ask this question.

Make a mistake placing a hold and have to call the patron back--his phone is busy for like an hour!

I want to buy earbuds or headphones. Which one has a longer cord?

Do you have the movie "Big Valley?"
Is it a TV show?
It's a Western.
(i.e., yes.)

Same guy: Where are your, uh, National Geographic movies?
Coworker: What kind?
Man: Do you remember when a lion was, like, hunting its prey?
Coworker: Yeah, yeah

Man with guitar case: Uno numero mystico, to mix my metaphors! (i.e. a guest pass for the computers)

Do you have any books about horses? (How sad would it be if the answer to this were 'no'?)

Coworker weeds "Sex, Love and Tractors" from the catalog.