Hard to explain

• How a scanner works
• That phone with a curly cord is a real phone, I know it doesn't look like the smartphones you are used to
• You can't check your email on a computer that is for looking up library materials
• The fact that the computer is slow does not mean it is not working
• The self-check machine doesn't care how you orient your books because it is not actually scanning them
• Where the 'file' button is on Word 2013--it's too small and too close to something else that is blue, apparently
• You must walk in the library or I WILL KILL YOU