Shoe saws

 A patron comes up to the front desk: Hi, do you have a lost and found?

Me: Yes, we do. What are you missing?

Patron: Some shoe saws.

Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that?

Patron: Some SHOE SAWS.

Me [trying and failing to Google what I think I'm hearing]: ... All right, can you describe them?

Patron [mumble mumble] gray [mumble mumble] Watson logo.

Me: I'll go check for you. While I do that, would you like to write down your name, number, and what you lost? That way if it's not in the lost and found but we find it later, we can call you.

Unsurprisingly, I don't find anything matching the patron's description in the lost and found. When I come back, he's written down his name and phone number, but no description. Darn. When I tell him that unfortunately I couldn't find his items, he wanders forlornly away.

A couple hours later, the phone rings.

Me: Checkout desk, this is Emma, how can I help you?

Librarian at the ref desk: Hey Emma. Do you remember the incident report from last week about the guy who tried to convince the janitorial staff to let him go on the roof?

Me: Yeah...

Librarian: That guy you just checked the lost and found for, that was the guy! Did you get his information?

I wonder if the roof is where is shoe saws are.

I want it, I just don't want to tell you I want it

 Our library doesn't allow you to get on a computer unless you have a library card, and we charge a fee for nonresidents. This isn't so much directed at nonresidents as it is residents who owe the library money--turns out if you block someone's computer access all of a sudden they are a lot more likely to bring back their overdue books. I don't love the policy, but I see the logic.

My pet peeve of patrons complaining about rules is the ones who won't outright ASK you for an exception, but instead are weirdly passive-aggressive about it. I had this conversation with a patron today:

Patron: Hi, I need to get on a computer.

Me: Sure, do you have a library card?

Patron: No.

Me: That's all right. Do you live here in [City]?

Patron: I used to live in [nearby City], but I don't live there anymore.

Me: I'm sorry, but unfortunately we charge a nonresident fee for a library card. I can give you a computer-access only card for $10.00 for a year, or a full-access card for $40.00.

Patron: I've never heard of that before. The library in [nearby City] used to give you a guest pass.

Me: It's really more for our own residents. We found that blocking people's computer access when they have overdue materials helps us get the materials back. Lots of us don't really like the policy, but we would need the approval of our city council to change it.

Patron: I went to [Other Library] yesterday and they didn't charge me to use the computer.

Me: ...

Patron: I have a library card for [random other city].

Me: I'm sorry, you would need one of our cards to get on a computer.

Patron: ...

Me: So if you would like to sign up for a library card, I will just need to see your ID.

Patron: ...Never mind.

If you're not even willing to use the words "Can you please make an exception for me," I'm not willing to make an exception for you. At least meet me that 10% or so of the way. I mean, come on.