1. Back corners of the stacks must be brightly-lit for safety
2. As long as the elevator exists, no one uses the stairs
3. Scanners. SO many scanners.
4. No matter how many times I ask them to, staff never turn off the front desk computers at night
5. The patron who comes in with his own power strip and charges two phones, a tablet, a laptop, and a mysterious device I have yet to identify.
I am doing a pet project of cleaning up old notes on patron records when I have downtime on the reference desk. As far as I can tell, I seem to be undoing the life's work of one of Those Old School Library Workers who felt that all things should be noted in the patron's account, period. Today I deleted someone's social security number from the notes field of their patron record.
SMH.
Today an elderly lady who was hard of hearing came in with her grandson, who I'd guess was in his mid-20s. I'd ask the lady questions in a loud speaking voice, and she'd say "What's that?" and then her grandson would repeat whatever I said by shouting it 18 inches from her ear: "SHE SAYS THERE'S A SCANNER IN THE COMPUTER LAB!"
Fortunately, none of the other patrons complained.
The library system where I work has four locations. Here is how changing of the desk shifts "on the hour" works at each one:
Location #1: If you're not arriving to relieve your colleague 5 minutes before the hour, you're late.
Location #2: You arrive on the hour, on the dot, period.
Location #3: You wander in around 5 minutes past the hour. Sometimes the person on desk has to call their replacement to remind them to come out.
Location #4: Half the staff thinks the cultural standard is the same as location #1 and half the staff thinks it's the same as location #3, and they hate each other. You cannot win. If you try the location #2 approach, BOTH groups hate it.
I know that I am easier to reach than the IT department is, but please be advised that the things below are not my job just because I am the Technology Librarian:
Our main library is two stories and has an open staircase between the floors. Overheard around closing time just out of line of sight:
Parent: Don't do that.
Kid: Whyyy?
Parent: Because that's antisocial behavior....[pause]...would you want someone to drop a taco on YOUR head?
When I started this blog more than 10 years ago, I was in my early 20s and got harassed by creepy patrons ALL THE TIME. It has its own tag in the blog.
Now that I spend less time on desk and I'm in my 30s, it's been literal years since it's happened to me. But today I was filling in at a branch and doing a 'roam' around the public floor and a very Anglo-looking patron said "Hola" to me. Being polite, I said it back, but when he followed up with "¿Como estás?" after I'd already passed him, I pretended I didn't hear and just kept walking. I was not at all surprised when he said "damn, that ass!" as I was not quite out of earshot.
The sexual harassment is much less nerve-wracking than it was when I was young, but it was still exactly as gross.
Today I caught a pug that wandered into the library and released him back into the neighborhood. I THINK this is dog #3 that I have captured and removed from a library, but I'm not even 100% sure, which I feel says a lot.
Now that I mainly work at the administrative office, I fill in randomly at all four branches in our library system. The one I've been spending time at lately has more characters than the others. It reminds me a little bit of Downtown Library in Michigan.
A patron cried because a different patron (4 computers away from her) was banging too enthusiastically on her keyboard while she played her online poker game.
There's another mid-30s white woman with shoulder-length light brown hair and rectangular glasses who works at this branch. People are constantly getting annoyed at me because "you helped me yesterday, how do you not know what I want!?" when Stephanie helped them yesterday, not me. I finally benefit from this inability to tell us apart when a clear Problem Patron refuses to ask me for help and chooses my unfortunate coworker to be her victim instead--it becomes clear that Stephanie enforced a library rule with her previously and now the patron refuses to engage with her (or, apparently, with anyone who looks like her).
A patron asked me to look up how far it was to Houston. He was going to walk there and wanted an estimate of how long it would take (about 85 hours).
And today, a patron told me he was "as fine as the hair on a frog" and then laughed to himself for several minutes.
One of our library locations, which I'm going to call Airport Branch due it being in a flight path which drives me crazy every time I work a shift there, is getting a 'digitizing lab.' It has machines for converting VHS tapes to DVDs, for making MP3s from cassette tapes, etc. It's supposed to go along with our local history and genealogy collection. It's a cool idea.
Since I'm the technology librarian for our system, I'm helping the newly-hired Adult Services librarian at the branch get the lab set up. One of the challenges we've been having with getting the lab ready is finding materials that staff can practice with--since I'm 35, I don't have a collection of home movies or much in the way of film negatives for us to play with. So I've been looking around at used bookstores, antique shops, etc. and grabbing any good examples I come across.
Recently I went to an antique store and found some SLIDES. I was so excited! I sent them over to my colleague at Airport Branch. It's worth mentioning at this point that this librarian JUST got her MLS and this is her third library job and first professional position. She's appallingly bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I don't know how old she is but basically all I do is crush her dreams. She wrote back to me:
"Thank you for the tiny pieces of film!"
This is as bad as when I found the old overhead projector transparencies.
I helped a very nice lady sign up for a library card today in Spanish. The more practice I get, the sillier the gaps in my vocabulary seem.
Me (in near-fluent Spanish): "Your card will work at all four library locations. If there is something you're interested in that we don't have here but that one of the other locations does, we can have it sent over here for you. Here's your card, there are two copies, one for your keychain and one for your, uh, um...your...[gestures helplessly]."
I only just realized I don't know the word for "wallet." Google tells me it's "billetera." Huh.
Did I mention that my latest job is as the technology librarian for the system, and that I'm one of the system administrators for our integrated library system? Somehow despite getting a degree in history, I had to learn these terms today:
API=Application Programming Interface: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/API
URI=Unique Resource Identifier (not the same as a URL): https://danielmiessler.com/study/difference-between-uri-url/
Bonus: When I did an initial Google search for "what is an API" Google suggested "What is an API in simple terms" which I think tells you everything you need to know about how my day has been.
Where is the little people's area? [Kids, not adults who are very short]
I want to get my GED. Can the library help me?
A toddler is crying loudly while I check out her mom's books. In an attempt to help, I make a funny face at her when she makes eye contact with me. She reacts by turning up the crying to a full meltdown.
Another patron who wants to get on a computer without a library card and, when told the policy, wants us to break it for him, but won't SAY that that's what he wants.
Can you get a book out of storage for us? Swiss Family Robinson? Oh wait, I mean an audiobook.
Can I do community service at the library? [The answer depends on if they mean the court-ordered kind or not.]
This computer won't play any sound even though I have my headphones plugged in.
Where do you keep the books on request?
There is a glass wall between the children's section and the adult section at this branch. Library assistant at the reference desk calls down to the checkout desk to tell me that a man has walked full-speed into it and gotten a bloody nose--"Just a heads up, I gave him an ice pack and some paper towels and I think he's going to be fine, but I'm going to submit an incident report."
Mom is signing her six kids up for library cards and has to fill out a consent form that is thoughtfully streamlined so that parents of more than one child don't have to sign multiple forms, they just have to add a line with each child's name and date of birth. But still she asks "Do I have to write down ALL of them?"
A patron comes up to the front desk: Hi, do you have a lost and found?
Me: Yes, we do. What are you missing?
Patron: Some shoe saws.
Me: I'm sorry, I couldn't hear you. Could you repeat that?
Patron: Some SHOE SAWS.
Me [trying and failing to Google what I think I'm hearing]: ... All right, can you describe them?
Patron [mumble mumble] gray [mumble mumble] Watson logo.
Me: I'll go check for you. While I do that, would you like to write down your name, number, and what you lost? That way if it's not in the lost and found but we find it later, we can call you.
Unsurprisingly, I don't find anything matching the patron's description in the lost and found. When I come back, he's written down his name and phone number, but no description. Darn. When I tell him that unfortunately I couldn't find his items, he wanders forlornly away.
A couple hours later, the phone rings.
Me: Checkout desk, this is Emma, how can I help you?
Librarian at the ref desk: Hey Emma. Do you remember the incident report from last week about the guy who tried to convince the janitorial staff to let him go on the roof?
Me: Yeah...
Librarian: That guy you just checked the lost and found for, that was the guy! Did you get his information?
I wonder if the roof is where is shoe saws are.
Our library doesn't allow you to get on a computer unless you have a library card, and we charge a fee for nonresidents. This isn't so much directed at nonresidents as it is residents who owe the library money--turns out if you block someone's computer access all of a sudden they are a lot more likely to bring back their overdue books. I don't love the policy, but I see the logic.
My pet peeve of patrons complaining about rules is the ones who won't outright ASK you for an exception, but instead are weirdly passive-aggressive about it. I had this conversation with a patron today:
Patron: Hi, I need to get on a computer.
Me: Sure, do you have a library card?
Patron: No.
Me: That's all right. Do you live here in [City]?
Patron: I used to live in [nearby City], but I don't live there anymore.
Me: I'm sorry, but unfortunately we charge a nonresident fee for a library card. I can give you a computer-access only card for $10.00 for a year, or a full-access card for $40.00.
Patron: I've never heard of that before. The library in [nearby City] used to give you a guest pass.
Me: It's really more for our own residents. We found that blocking people's computer access when they have overdue materials helps us get the materials back. Lots of us don't really like the policy, but we would need the approval of our city council to change it.
Patron: I went to [Other Library] yesterday and they didn't charge me to use the computer.
Me: ...
Patron: I have a library card for [random other city].
Me: I'm sorry, you would need one of our cards to get on a computer.
Patron: ...
Me: So if you would like to sign up for a library card, I will just need to see your ID.
Patron: ...Never mind.
If you're not even willing to use the words "Can you please make an exception for me," I'm not willing to make an exception for you. At least meet me that 10% or so of the way. I mean, come on.
Earlier this week I was called out to the reference desk because there was a patron requesting a very specific book and he was getting frustrated that the library assistant on desk couldn't find it. I eventually helped him ID it once I understood that it was a niche geneology title. Let's say for the sake of argument it was "The Schmidts of Oklahoma." We did not own it, of course, so I worked with him to place an interlibrary loan request for it.
Me: "And do you have your library card with you, sir?"
Patron: "No, I'm afraid I don't."
Me: "No problem. We can look it up by your name."
Patron: "Paul Schmidt."
Me: "Well, I guess I should have guessed that, huh? Although I suppose the book could be about your mother's family."
Patron: "She recently told me they were all known criminals back in England. [pause] Not the Schmidts, though, the Schmidts have a pure record [laugh]."
