Mystery Library in brief

This is the busiest library job I've ever had (I think a past retail job edged this one out by a little bit) and I know the blog is suffering. I'm also working on a professional project that, ironically, I won't be sharing here since it will be linked to my real identity, and I really appreciate having anonymity on this blog. I feel like I can be honest about both the good and the bad of my employers since it's not reflecting on them.

Anyway, since it's been a while, here's a lightning round update of the goings-on at Mystery Library:

Computer things people have been struggling a lot with lately:
-Number lock
-The '@' sign (what it is, how to refer to it, and how to make it appear on the screen)
-Where to plug in a flash drive

The ESL teacher came by the front desk and said "Weird question, but does anyone have a bag of hot Cheetos?" Sadly it was a really busy shift and I never got a chance to find out the context.

No cereal in the parking lot this week. I hope the Cereal Leaver is okay. I really hope they finally decided to stop littering cereal.

Two different Hispanic toddlers pointed at the World Cup logo on our soccer display and exclaimed "Mexico!" 

A man brought in a balloon and tied it to the chair he was sitting in. Somehow it popped and he was really mad.

I cleaned several pistachio shells off of a shelf in the Large Print section.

I live in fear that someday while raising or lowering the flag outside the library (the pole is not lit at night so the flag code says it should come down each evening) that I'll touch the flag to the ground and horrify some patriotic Texan. I was starting to think I was overcautious, but then last week I noticed one of our patrons stop on the way out and salute while I lowered the flag at sunset.

A real live princess (a 20-something woman with a brilliant smile and as much patience as she had makeup) came for a tea party program, and I got to see some kids having the greatest day of their lives so far.

Supplies update, adorable kids

A not-so-secret admirer sent me a few pairs of amazing scissors in response to my last post. I have always been annoyed by coworkers who were territorial about 'their' office supplies in the library, but when I brought a pair of my glorious new scissors to work, intending to put them in one of the drawers at the reference desk, I just couldn't do it and put them in my own desk drawer instead.

In other good news, I have seen a lot of cute children at the library lately. At Downtown Library I was hugged by a small boy who then followed me around so insistently that even though I was supposed to be doing 'roving reference' that hour I eventually had to go and hide behind the desk. He did pick out some excellent picture books for me to put on display, though. If I had a kid I think I would bring him or her in to help me with children's displays all the time. Apparently at Small Town Library an enthusiastic six-year-old outlined a fully-formed library program on dinosaurs that the Youth department now really wants to put on, so clearly kids are qualified for this.

Also at Small Town Library, I followed a dad and his two kids on their way out of the library as I was leaving at the end of my shift and eavesdropped on the following conversation:
Dad, to older daughter: What do you want to have for dinner?
Daughter: Pizza!
Dad: Well, then it's your lucky day!
Daughter: Why?
Dad: Because you're buying us all pizza for dinner today!
Daughter: Okay!

All I want for Christmas (2016 edition)

Dear lovely readers,


Remember how I said that I would fight anyone who says that the 'Santa version' of Christmas is appropriate to celebrate in the library because it isn't really a religious holiday? I've gotten sucked into several debates among library professionals about this very topic over the last few weeks of December and I've been discouraged to hear many of my colleagues say that they saw no problem with decorations featuring Christmas trees, Santa, reindeer, etc. in their libraries. If you feel that way too, I'm probably not going to convince you otherwise (believe me, I speak from experience now), but if you think that having those things in a government institution is problematic, I would love it if you would consider going to your local public library and writing a comment card expressing that, whether it affects you personally as someone who doesn't celebrate Christmas or whether you celebrate Christmas but just don't see the public library as an appropriate place for that celebration.


Here is what I wrote to one of the libraries where I work, which has Christmas decorations:


I would appreciate it if the library would consider not putting up Christmas decorations next year. I am not a Christian and this time of year I feel like I am constantly reminded that I am not a part of mainstream American culture. It is sad and frustrating to experience that at the library also, since the library is supposed to be a place for everyone regardless of their culture or beliefs. I have no problem with displays of Christmas materials, but to have decorations all over the library makes me feel like the library is not really for me and makes me feel left out.


Here is what I wrote to my own home library, which (at least at that time) did not have Christmas decorations:


Thank you for not putting up Christmas decorations at the library. I am not a Christian and this time of year I feel like I am constantly reminded that I am not a part of mainstream American culture. Everywhere I go there are things emphasizing how I am a minority. It is really nice to have somewhere public to come where I have a break from that.


Although I'm not a Christian, I celebrate Christmas because that is what my family celebrates. Talking to other librarians in similar personal situations started to make me think I was making a mountain out of a molehill until I got this response from a librarian who is Jewish:


"Parents who come the rest of the year have told me that they won't take their kids to storytime in December because it is always Christmas-themed and they already get way too much of that at school and at businesses. They don't want to subject their kids to yet another reminder of how they are different and left out of what other kids are doing. Contrary to what other people are saying, Christmas-themed decorations and programming are actually driving patrons away from the library, not bringing them in. They approach me to tell me since they think I will be the only person on the staff who will understand."


When your patrons aren't only unhappy with what your library is doing, but afraid to say anything because they don't think they will be listened to, you're doing something wrong.

Other duties as assigned

Today at work:

• Cleaned up broken glass
• Photographed a mysterious desk lamp in our cluttered office to include in an email threatening to throw it away
• Ordered new copies of a handful of karate books that someone borrowed and never brought back
• Secured a promise from one of our volunteers to make popcorn 5 months from now.
• Put a book called Getting Back In There: Dating again after the serious break up and another called One Year to Financial Organization on display ("Jump-start your new year's resolutions" theme)
• Wrote myself a note for next week: "Call Tom C. re: Beekeeping."

Never boring

I came in to Downtown Library to find out that the police busted a meth lab next door over the weekend, and to have a patron ask me: "Is there a way I can find the horoscope for a Scorpio on April 28th, 1971?"

Meanwhile, at Small Town Library the first email of the day I saw was "Does anyone have one of those singing fish that you hope not to get for Christmas? If so, can I borrow it? I'd like to use it at the Santa visit next week."

And, on the Continual Battle Against Christmas in the Library front, I wrested control of a major display at Downtown Library and put up "The Library Speaks Your Language," featuring information about the library and books in Chinese, Arabic, French, and Spanish. This would always be a display I would be happy with, but the thought that it would almost certainly be Christmas-themed otherwise this month warms my Grinchy heart.

I am the Grinch

 

'Tis the season for my annual outrage about quote-unquote 'holiday' decorations in the library. (I will fight anyone who says that the 'Santa version' of Christmas is totally not a religious holiday.) This week the first of the Christmas decorations appeared at both my libraries. The Downtown Library seems to be adopting a creeping approach--putting things out one at a time and gradually so that people like me won't notice what is happening. Possibly coincidentally, possibly as a warning, they put out a giant stuffed animal Grinch first. Small Town Library has gone traditional Small Town, Small Mind with fake poinsettias, garlands, and a giant tree with a 'made by a kid'-style angel topping it. Fortunately, the theme they chose for this year is snowmen. If I have to be here for next year's theme (Reindeer? Angels? Jesus Christ Our Savior?) I think it is going to get ugly.

Staff picks

At Downtown Library we have a large display stand featuring nonfiction titles selected by staff as favorites. It's one of my pet displays and I am always over there adjusting things for optimum aesthetics. Today I noticed:

1. Someone who doesn't have a library card is clearly reading one of my staff picks (Holy Warriors: A Modern History of the Crusade by Jonathan Phillips), because it keeps disappearing from the shelf and then reappearing, still with "Emma Recommends" bookmark in it (I wonder if the reader is using it as a literal bookmark).
2. Someone has added a note saying "Good recommendation" to the "Ann Recommends" bookmark in one of my colleague's picks.
3. A book I put out 10 minutes ago is already gone! Yesssss!

Just Let Me Pay part two

One of the sad things about my current library is that all of our non-English collections are labeled in English but not in the actual language of the collection. That is, our Spanish collection is labeled "Spanish" rather than "Español." One of my pet projects is adding native language labels for those collections, so I went to see if we could order some little label holders to clip onto the shelves like this: http://www.demco.com/goto?BLS168218&ALL0000&es=20150311134244525718


They are almost twenty dollars a label! For a piece of acrylic that is an inch by three quarters of an inch.


That golf book isn't looking like such a bad deal now.

Hugh Laurie, blues musician

So, I learned today that Hugh Laurie (of House and Jeeves and Wooster fame) has not one, but two blues albums out (you can read more details here: http://didntitrain.hughlaurieblues.com/us). Today I am also supposed to be working on my next English-language display, and this gave me the idea for a "I didn't know he did a _____!" display. I.e., "I didn't know Hugh Laurie did a...blues album!"

But I have a problem. I am struggling to find lists or examples of celebrities (actors, writers, etc.) who are famous for (or at least did) more than one thing. Any suggestions, off the tops of your culturally-literate heads?

Español

Today a middle-aged man made me repeat "It's over there by the 'Español' sign" three times because he couldn't believe I was pronouncing it so well. I wanted to let him know that I spent FOUR HOURS today making four little "Author of the Week" signs with quotes from book reviews. I'm glad my pronunciation is getting better because my reading skills are quite terrible after prolonged exposure to my second language!

Children's librarians work a lot harder than I do

Today I was on the children's desk all by myself all day because the youth services person who is normally here is getting married. I gained a new respect for what she does. This was my day:

As the designated Spanish speaker on days when the native speakers aren’t working, register a lady who ‘needs to speak to someone in Spanish’ for a computer class. Her English is really, really good and she keeps speaking to me in English after I speak to her in Spanish.

A couple of people are really confused about how the AARP tax help that the library hosts works.

“Can you look up a book for me? You can do it faster than I can. I have to go now. The author is J-O-H-M-A-N-N.”

“Johnmann?”

“Yes. Oh wait, I’m not finding it here because I can’t read my own notes. It’s at another branch.”

“Well I’m not seeing anything by this author at all—did I spell it incorrectly?”
“Take out the N.”

“Oh, okay, would you like me to put one of these titles on hold for you.”

“No, I have to go.”

My eternal favorite question in the children’s area: “Do you have any books about dinosaurs?” Plus a bonus: I get him to take a book about Megalodon too!

A couple with a little toddler walks by. Dad to little girl: “Look at all these books! Isn’t this more books than you’ve ever seen in your entire life!” and to mom: “She’s just like….aaaah!”

One of those homeschooling families with like a million children comes through like a tornado, leaving huge piles of abandoned and all the toys from the play area scattered across the floor. You’re not teaching your children to pick up after themselves in homeschool, people?

The Dear Dumb Diary series by Jim Benton.

How do I sign up for a library card?

“Excuse me, where are the Bluebonnets, and the new books?”

The Bluebonnets are literally right behind me, over my shoulder, and she spots those. But it is really hard to get her to articulate which new books she wants. Eventually she says kids’ chapter books. Then when I first show them to her she says “No!”

It’s really hard to describe where the tax help is relative to the children’s desk.

Help a very nice man figure out where to mail his tax return.

Lots of people want to know if the bookmarks from our bookmark contest are free (they are).

Earlier books in a Meg Cabot series than the one she has, and also Maximum Ride books (this a YA series by James Patterson and requests for it used to confuse the heck out of me before I learned what it was).

Princess books. Satisfied by Princess Tiana and the Royal Ball.

Refill displays. Prediction that Animal Grossology will be the first book of the day to circulate off the New Junior Nonfiction display comes true.

Books from the I Spy series.

Phineas and Ferb books and also Wild Kratts—there are no books but we do have a DVD of the show. One of the Phineas and Ferb books has a loose page and, after checking that no one from Circulation is looking, I tape it back in with regular Scotch tape because someone else is waiting to ask a question and I don’t want to go to the back and fix it properly.

Because of Winn Dixie (in) and Legends of Zita the Spacegirl (out).

Do you have books about gods?

Judy Moody series and, from a different patron, Junie B. Jones series. I’m glad get asked this because I need the practice distinguishing them—I’ve been known to mix them up in the past.

Bad Kitty series from a small boy with a major stutter. Luckily we are able to communicate.

Place a hold for a popular kids DVD—can’t remember what series it was.

Books on gymnastics.

Monster High.

The most impossible readers’ advisory ever, and the children’s person is out this weekend. After seeing about 20 choices, she selects the graphic novel series Guinea Pig: Pet-Shop Private Eye.

Pick up a stack of books abandoned next to one of the computers. There are five of them and four are the exact same title. Why!?

“How many movies can I have checked out?” I love getting this question because at our library you can have up to 50 things checked out at a time, and the format doesn’t matter. People are expecting they can have three movies or five movies or maybe ten movies, and then you say they can have fifty and they get really excited.

The newest Diary of a Wimpy Kid (it’s The Third Wheel).

“Where are those fairy books?” i.e. the ones written by “Daisy Meadows.”

Stories about cats. Luckily, I now know to recommend the Bad Kitty series.

Little girl: I need a library card.

Dad: You already have a library card!

Pinkalicious books. I don’t know if I object more to the gender-stereotype-reinforcing content or to the fact that I can never spell “pinkalicious” correctly on the first try.

Heir Apparent by Vivian Vande Velde. It’s checked out but another book set in the same universe is in—good enough!

The same little girl that told me she needed a library card runs past the desk and I say “Please walk in the library!” Her mom, who is following behind her, whispers “Sorry. I told her to run!”

“Do you have any books of Shaun the Sheep?” No, we don’t. Dang.

Dinosaur books again.

Pandora the Curious, Confectionately Yours, and Bake Sale.

Dragon Tales DVDs. This kid and his dad are well-known regulars because he is autistic and because his dad is eternally tolerant. The dad gets the kid to repeat the request after him and he seems to be doing well but then he darts around and presses the power button on my computer, shutting it off. Then he stands next to me, staring at it intently. “He has to make sure it is really shutting down,” his dad says with resignation.

While the computer is down: Field Trip Mysteries.

Are there art lessons for kids in the library?

Villain School: Are there more of these, and what order is the series in?