- If you say something to a coworker in a tone of voice you wouldn't use with a patron or using words you wouldn't use with a patron, you owe them a public apology.
- You are now required to read any Google or Yelp review that mentions you, positive or negative.
- Every week I place 5 index cards with your name on them in commonly-ignored places in the library (display stands that don't get refilled, items on the request list that are a tiny bit hard to find and therefore left on the list for days at a time, etc.). If you don't find all 5 of yours throughout the week, you're fired.
- One of those bathroom checking logs like gas stations have--sorry, but I don't believe you're checking them every hour. The level of mess when I check them gives it away.
- For every document you pre-print that you are supposed to print on demand for patrons from the library website to avoid wasting paper, you are docked a dollar of pay.
- Everyone is randomly assigned a new desk every 3 months, because apparently we need A) practice adjusting to change and B) bigger incentives not to be hoarders.
- Anyone who is STILL habitually putting things on the wrong place on the reshelving carts must go to storytime like a toddler until you can prove to me you can follow the alphabet.
Wednesday, September 25, 2019
Evil manager aspirations
Things I daydream about forcing on my staff when I am at the end of my rope:
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AH, fantasies.
ReplyDeleteNothing would make my coworkers stop hoarding, nothing
ReplyDelete1. is legit.
ReplyDelete2. I thought it was "read ALOUD" the first read. I would let them ignore the lying ones.
3. reminds me of the 10 000 page long contracts with a clause like "no yellow skittles" on page 6715.
4. and if I find you making fraudulent entries, you either have to call the DA and confess to them on the PA system or eat your lunch in the first stall.
5. and at the end of the week, the worst offender has to buy a new ream of paper for the printer, at the end of the month, a toner cartridge, and at the end of the year, a COLOR toner cartidge.
6. You have to move your sth to your new desk with a serving spoon. And you don't get to claim a schedule reduction/overtime.
7. might actually be too enjoyable and a moral hazard. They should be forced to instantly answer correctly if a given letter combination comes before or after another one, like SU and ST or FE and FI. That's more useful in the long run.
4 and 5 are fantastic! Re:7, though: if you knew how loud our storytime was, you'd know there's no incentive to sit through it as an adult.
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