Patrons lately:
Patron:Can I talk to someone who speaks better Spanish than you?
Me (out loud): Yes, ma'am, one moment.
Me (in my head): Yes, but she's still going to tell you the same rules I just told you.
Patron: Can I sign up for a library card? I need some kind of ID to prove to T-Mobile that I'm me.
Me: I'd be happy to sign you up for a library card, but I don't think the phone company will accept it as ID. It just looks like this [shows her a new library card] and you can sign the back.
Patron: Couldn't you just, like, print out a picture of me and tape it to the card?
Me: It doesn't work like that, sorry.
Patron: Who do I report a building problem to?
Me: I'm the branch manager. I'd be happy to hear about your issue. If I can't fix it, I can pass it on to the facilities team and they can.
Patron: One of your bushes outside is dead. You should get that fixed right away!
Patron: Do you have, like, a copy machine, but instead of making, you know, a copy, it makes a copy on the computer?
Me: Yes! It's called a scanner, let me show you how it works.
Patron: Oh, wow! That's great! How much does it cost to make a computer copy?
Patron who I had to ban last week for repeatedly coming into the library drunk: *tries to come in the building when I open the doors at 9:00 a.m. sharp*
Me: Mr. Gomez, you can't come back to the library until November! Remember, the police came last week and talked to you? I was there?
Patron: *stares at me with a total lack of recognition for a few seconds and then shuffles away in resignation*
Me: Have a nice day, sir!
Patron: I'm looking for a list of Chicano authors active in the 1970s. Is there a way I can do that better than just searching the library catalog?
Me: Oooh, let me tell you about the internet!
One of our patrons regularly reports nicks and scratches on the drywall, it was funny for a while but now we want to hide under the info desk when he shows up
ReplyDeletePlease tell me the person who wanted you to tape a picture on his library card was kidding?
ReplyDeleteNo, sadly. She also cried when I couldn't provide her with what she wanted. It was rough.
DeleteIt's bad enough to get the "can I talk to a different librarian so that she can let me do what I want" without insulting your Spanish speaking!
ReplyDeleteIt's the first time that's happened to me since I became a branch manager. It's a bit more satisfying now to then have the other staff member redirect the patron back to me.
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