This week

Bathroom issues: A man wants to permission to use the women's restroom because whoever is in the single stall in the men's room is taking ages. "If you don't let me in, I'm going to pee on myself right here!"

Later the same day a woman complains that another woman threatened her in the bathroom because she thought she was trying to look through the stall at her. The accuser is a known stirrer-upper-of-drama so I offer her the phone to call the police to report the threat. Surprisingly, police come, and speak to and calm down both ladies involved.

When is there going to be tax help at the library? times 20.

While picking up trash outside the library (I failed to escape this responsibility by transferring to Walnut Bluff) I find two empty beer cans and an empty full-size wine bottle. Yikes.

I fill in for a sick coworker at a kids' craft program. I tried bribing my other staff members (most of whom are very afraid of children) by saying that anyone who sat through the program with me as a sort of exposure therapy could go home an hour early, but no one took me up on it.

A kid at the craft program has a stuffed dog in a Superman costume.
Me: Wow, is that Superdog?
Kid: No, it's Dinodog.
Kid's mom: He has dinosaur pajamas on under the Superman outfit. It's complicated.

A Hispanic guy comes in, sees my white self and my black coworker at the desk, and immediately looks away and pretends he doesn't see us.
Me: Hi, how can we help you?
Him: Uh...no English.
Me: Oh, como podemos ayudar a usted? [Oh, how can we help you?]
Him: Whoa...[I need to print something.]
Me: [Yeah, sure, we can do that!]

My colleague spots me as I am dusting the Spanish section--"Are you trying something, or is this a hint?" Kind of both.

Different colleague is trying and failing to pull out the first wipe in a canister of Lysol wipes, but he can't reach in far enough. He says, "I wonder if this is what t-rexs felt like" and I accidentally crack up loud enough that a patron glares at me.