Sunday refgrunt

Cool patron: "I'm trying to convince my friend that she should sign up for a library card."

Fun coworker: "You HAVE to have a library card! It saves you so much money! Also, look how cool our designs are."

Patron's friend: "Those ARE cool designs. I'm sold."

Do you have study rooms?

A man returns a pile of DVDs with titles that all start with the letter J. "Can you please check these in so I can get some more?" 10 minutes later he comes back with a pile of DVDs that start with the letter K.

We have a bucket of Halloween candy out and it's funny watching patrons interact with it. Adults asking "Can I have one!?" are particularly amusing to me."

My poor coworker is getting all the eccentric patrons today.

Patron: Can I sign up for a library card?

Coworker: Sure, do you live in Our City?

Patron: Yep, I was born here! I was born at Methodist Hospital.

Coworker: That's nice...may I please see your ID?

Patron: Where you YOU born?

Caller: Can you help me place some items on hold?...'Long Bright River' by Liz Moray. Let me spell the author's name for you: M-O-O-R-E."

How do I print, 2x.

Where are the books on architecture? Coworker starts to look it up and I say "720s." I used to order the 700s, I have all those classes memorized. Patron: "Thanks, I am remodeling a Greek Revival home."

Can I borrow a pen?

I have a card from [library in another state]. Is there any reason I should get a card with you?

Is there a way I can pause my computer time while I go to the bathroom?...I don't want to take my backpack with me, can't you just watch it?

Can I pay for my printouts here?

A man is filling out the permission form for his kid to get a card and keeps asking my coworker if he has to fill out the fields. "Do you want me to put the date?" "Do I need to put my driver's license number?" "What is a 'suffix'?" No sir, we just added all those lines for our own amusement. Just leave the form blank. What the heck!?

At every library where I've ever worked, people have thought we've sold office supplies. Why?

Patron to coworker: You have such a nice, smiling face! And your skin is PERFECT!

Put in a service request--the building is mysteriously hot.